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He saw his brother on the occasional weekend, he had not yet figured out how to tell Jack he was gay, well, probably gay, so he had not attempted it, and thus he did have to keep his new found social life compartmented. flowers He declined Jack's invitation to have lunch at Lonnie's one Saturday with some apprehension, and they settled for an offcampus lunch. But he knew that this would become an issue some time. So in some ways he was sad, he could not really share his wideeyed wonder with his beloved brother, he realized he had to keep his shell around to slip over his head like that cassock and surplice he wore as an altar boy, when Jack was around, and that was the first little chill he felt, he could not love his brother as freely as he wanted to.

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And that was painful, he had so looked forward to having Jack in his life, but it was to be on a limited, careful basis, the opposite of what he wanted. Erectii puternice on link page No way he could risk losing Jack, he wouldn't take that chance. flowers on Top page He still had plenty of balancing to do.

flowers He had to save up good things, because he knew one day there would be bad things, there was always hell to pay, even if you had had a taste of heaven. So he stored it up, against the day he would need it to cancel out in some part whatever hell he was led to. flowers But for now it was warm warm warm, and hell seemed far away and perhaps not so bad after all. Was it any wonder that Barry felt hell was irrelevant when he was in the lower levels of heaven? Barry wasn't sure why, but he had a new friend; well not a friend like Dave had been, more like an acquaintance. Actually Barry had so little experience with relationships that he didn't know exactly what friends were other than Dave and maybe Bonnie, Dave's girlfriend. gamble Michael kept paying attention to Barry and Barry could not figure out why. Barry was sure it wasn't a sexual interest. Well, actually Barry was never sure about sexual interests, being sixteen and without any experience he tended to feel a sexual interest an awful lot of the time and was never sure if it meant anything real or just reflected being horny.